The Real ME!!!

So people think they know me because of what they see on the outside but the real me iis on the inside. This is what you see: An 18 year old female thats always smiling ; may have her bitchy ways but always smiling. You may think im concieted and a spoiled little brat, but everyone has they opinions. Yoy may think i live the most perfect life but you g0t things wrong. Just  because im smiling dont mean im happy . It means im covering tears because i cant explain where they came from. On the inside im filled with hate, heartache , lack of trust and a whole bunch of other stuff. But if everyone thinks im so nice and happy why havent anyway taken time to actualy get to now the real me. Why when i meet someone new the first thing they say is “Tell me about yourself.” If i told you who i really was i dont think you can handle it. You took time out to sit down and figure out who all these famous people were and they dont even knw you exist. So why not take time out and see who i am. Look pass my eyes and see the tears, look pass my smile and see the frown , look pass my skin on my chest and see the heart thats in 1,000 pieces. If  I showed you  my pain and anger how quick would you wrap your arms around me me and tell me its ok? If i showed u the tears that fell frum my eyes how quick would you cry with me? If i gave you 1,000 little pieces and said here goes my heart how much time would you spend trying to figure out where each piece go. if i gave you all of me how much time would you spend trying to figure out who i really am??



Taken Innocence

How could you sit there and watch him hurt me. i was innocent and had done nothing wrong. I didnt deserve to get treated badly because you couldnt find love. So why did i have to suffer? When i cried out for help why didnt you help me?  How could walk away from me so easily and not let a tear fall? Then you gave me away as if i did something wrong. I was just a small child not knowing what was going on. I needed you the most and you gave me your ass to kiss. What did i do and why did you hate me so much?  Why couldnt we run away? Now that im older why cant you still look in my face and tell me the truth. You tell me that its all in the past to let it go but i cant. How can i let go the pain that someone who was suppose to love me let me go through? How could i let go the feeling of being less than and unwanted ? Please explain this to me. How can it be love if you dont love me back. When i think about it i cry because it hurts to kno that someone im suppose to run to wouldnt protect me when i need them the most. LOVE is no where to be found inside of me to give to you. You dont deserve my love at all. When you give me my innocence and childhood back ill give you my love. But that cant happen so it looks as if though i would never love you not even enough to make you feel as iif though your worth something. But thanks for opening my eyes and starting a path in parenthood i would never take. My child’s innocence is to precious to let someone take it away.


Choosing Sides

ohkaiie so theres this situation and im not to sure what to do .. so theres this boy i like we’re gonna kall hym(boy) me and boy started off as best friends no harm in that rite… welll ur rong… we both caught feelings… i had a boyfriend and he was single i wasnt tryna get with him even though feelings were there…so he begans talking to my friiend and its like i kno everything that goes on in thiis relationship and it kills me to kno dat he;s wit someone else but what can i do…but i speak to his girlfriend daily and guilt runs thru me wen i tlk to her and think about him..but what shud i do … shud i tell her the truth or keep this frum her and still flirt with him like crazee.. i mean i did have him first ugh idk what to do.

The point of my blog

so i basically made my blog to post my inner thoughts kind of like a diary..but not to personally. i will post as many different things happy in my life. So think of it as a diary of a teenager who experience many things. Such as love , pain , friendships, heart break. imma even post some of  my poems so i hope u enjoy my blog.